


you say you miss me now (what a way to lose your head)

by allisonattheorpheum



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Underage Drinking, a grand total of two curse words, and reggie being reggie, background juke - Freeform, background willex, everyone is like 19ish it's not really stated, some texting because i like that kind of thing, technically college au but like they don't really go to class in the span of this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28682664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisonattheorpheum/pseuds/allisonattheorpheum
Summary: “yeah, well, i know it’s weird that my best friend is, like, your biggest competition or whatever,” flynn said, shaking her head a little. “and we haven’t talked in years but, i miss you, carrie.”carrie wasn’t sure if she heard correctly. did gin and tonics have an effect on eardrums? “you, um,” she trailed off, hated the way she couldn’t seem to channel her normal confidence. “you miss me? why?”(or carrie has a crush on an old best friend)
Relationships: Flynn/Carrie Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	you say you miss me now (what a way to lose your head)

**Author's Note:**

> title and inspiration from "lose your head" by london grammar.

carrie hadn’t planned on going out on a tuesday night. she’d had dinner, done the reading for her evolution of fashion in pop music course, and snuggled into the couch for a mini netflix bingeathon. her phone had _ding_ ed with an incoming text and she had told herself not to look at it. she succeeded for about three minutes but, well, curiosity killed the cat.

**reggie**

i know you said in class you were staying in all night BUT hear me out

**carrie**

reggie. i already washed my face.

**reggie**

well unwash it!!! flynn came with julie and… she asked about you ;)

flynn asking about her? carrie had found that hard to believe. flynn was the everlasting memory of carrie’s childhood summers; they were joined at the hip at their performing arts camp. high school came and carrie had more opportunities and new adventures taking up her time; phone calls or visits with flynn fell by the wayside. now, college (because _of course_ they chose the same school). carrie’s sharing an apartment with some of the other girls in her group, dirty candi, and flynn is best friends with carrie’s biggest campus rival: julie.

reggie knew how to get carrie’s attention, though. carrie had tried to keep her (hopeless, miniscule, barely even there) crush on flynn under wraps but reggie wasn’t fooled; as often as that boy’s head is in the clouds, he still finds time to discover people’s deepest secrets.

 _“wait, so you haven’t seen her since before_ high school _and you still have a crush on her?” reggie had asked._

_carrie had nodded towards where flynn sat a few rows ahead of them. “look at her, reg. she’s beautiful, talented, and... completely over whatever friendship we used to have.”_

_reggie had just shaken his head and turned back to his notes._

*

so carrie hadn’t planned on going out on a tuesday night, but here she was, in a dimly lit karaoke bar. luke, julie’s boyfriend and guitarist, and alex, her drummer, were on the stage, belting out an almost spot-on version of “my heart will go on.” julie and flynn watched from a table off to the side of the room, and carrie wished she could somehow turn off the part of her brain that kept telling her eyes to look at them. 

“carrie! you’re here!” reggie pushed through a group of people to get to her, a couple of cokes in his hands. “we have to do a song, okay?”

carrie sighed. “just because i showed up doesn’t mean i’m getting on stage, reg.” she walked with him towards the table carrie and julie were at, had to keep herself from turning around.

“but doing a song will _definitely_ have flynn asking about you. trust me,” he said.

carrie smirked. “i thought she already did?”

reggie stammered, but before he could come up with a response, they had reached the group’s table. “hey, guys!” he shouted, coke threatening to spill over the top of the glasses. “look who’s here!”

julie and flynn turned towards carrie and smiled, but the kind of smile that was a polite necessity. “hey, carrie,” julie said. “cute shirt.” flynn stayed quiet and accepted one of the sodas from reggie.

it was awkward enough to have one of her closest friends be a member of julie and the phantoms, the only band on campus that could hold a match to her own; but to _voluntarily_ hang out with said band _and_ the cutest girl she knew? carrie cursed the part of her that had decided to leave the apartment.

luke and alex had finished their song and made their way back to the table. they said hi to carrie, took their spots next to julie. the band launched into conversation easily, julie teasing luke about when his voice cracked during the song, reggie and alex arguing over who would buy willie’s drink when he showed up (“dude, he’s _my_ boyfriend.” “yeah, but, i just want him to know i’m a nice guy!”).

carrie stood off to the side a little, pretended to be into the singers on the stage -- a group of clearly drunk middle-aged ladies screeching along to madonna. her arms were crossed across her chest, nails biting into the soft skin to keep from pulling out her phone and getting a ride home. she figured she should at least act like she wanted to be there for a while. 

“carrie, hey,” reggie said. she didn’t even notice him getting up. “want me to get you something to drink?”

she shook her head. “i’ll get it,” she said. it’d give her something to do, at least. “thanks, though.”

she walked towards the bar, relieved to be out of the group’s pull for a moment. julie and her band were so close, so comfortable with each other. carrie and her bandmates were friends, of course, but even though they mostly all lived together, their hanging out was mostly limited to practices and gigs.

carrie leaned against the bar, pulled back after she felt the stickiness on her arms. she ordered a gin and tonic, thankful that this place didn’t really worry about ID. she checked her phone as she waited for her drink.

**kayla candi**

i won’t be home tonight, see you at practice

**nick (never again)**

hope you’re doing okay! miss you!

she sighed and exited out of her messages. the bartender slid her drink across to her and she grabbed it, took a sip. she turned to head back to the group and found her path blocked by some guy she’d never seen before.

“excuse me?” she put as much annoyance into her voice as she could muster. “can i get through?”

the guy looked at her and smiled. “i’ve seen you around with your band,” he said. “you don’t have time for a fan?”

carrie forced a smile. “thanks so much for your support!” the fake sugar in her voice could give her a cavity. “but i’ve got to get back to my friends.” well, friend, singular, but this guy didn’t have to know that.

“aw, come on,” he said. “can’t i get an autograph or something?” he took a step closer and carrie could smell the cheap beer on his breath.

“really, i should get back,” carrie said, conviction failing her. her pulse was echoing in her head.

“this guy bothering you, babe?” carrie felt someone at her side, saw the swish of braids out of the corner of her eye. “come on, let’s go.” 

flynn’s hand cupped carrie’s elbow, steering her around the guy, now staring at the two of them with his mouth open. she looked over at carrie, gave her a small smile. “i was heading to the bathroom but saw that creep talking to you. figured you could use a rescue.”

“thanks,” carrie said. even though they were away from the guy, almost back to the table, flynn’s hand was still on carrie’s arm. she took a sip of her drink, and then another, trying to dull the sparks of lightning bouncing off of her skin. 

“back so soon?” julie asked flynn once they were within hearing distance. carrie didn’t miss the way her eyes flicked to where flynn’s skin met carrie’s.

“carrie needed saving,” flynn said. “just call me a hero. _now_ i’m going to the bathroom.” she turned away, but the feeling of her fingers on carrie’s arm stuck around like a phantom.

reggie perked up, waggled his eyebrows at carrie. “i bet someone’s happy they got told to come out tonight, huh? i’ll take a _thank you_.”

carrie rolled her eyes, took a long pull of her drink. “thanks, reg,” she said. “now stop talking.”

*

an hour and two drinks later (reggie kept bringing them, even though carrie had said she was fine after her first), she was sufficiently tipsy. she was also on stage with julie and willie, alex’s boyfriend, trying not to make a mockery of “girls just wanna have fun.” she felt her cheeks flush, knew her hair was probably a frizzy mess, but she kept singing. flynn’s eyes had been on her for the whole song, not like carrie was paying attention.

as the last notes of the song rung out, willie shouted into the mic, “thank you, we’re dirty phantoms! tell your friends.” alex, reggie, and luke cheered from the table, pumped their fists into the air.

“we make a pretty good duo, i admit,” julie said, turning towards carrie. “but if we ever want to collab, the name needs workshopped.”

carrie nodded in agreement, laughed loudly, comfortably, like her and julie had been friends for a while. she tripped a little going down the stage’s steps, feeling like she was floating rather than on solid ground. when they got back to the others, flynn gave carrie a look and arched her eyebrow. “you okay, carrie?” she asked.

carrie took a drink of reggie’s water, the cold shocking her system. “yeah, fine,” she said. “might just need some fresh air.”

reggie started to stand up but flynn put an arm out to stop him. “i’ll go with her,” she said as she stood. she walked to carrie’s side and slung her arm around carrie’s shoulders, like nothing had changed. as they turned to head towards the door, reggie shot carrie a double thumbs-up, grinning like the cheshire cat.

*

it wasn’t cold outside, by any means, but the nighttime chill settled against carrie’s skin, caused goosebumps to dance to the surface. she and flynn leaned against the building, sharing a water and letting the echoes of the bar’s sound system vibrate against their backs. 

“thank you again for, you know, rescuing me,” carrie said. her voice seemed far away.

“we’ve gotta look out for each other, right?” flynn asked. “besides, it gave me an opportunity to break the ice. not an ideal situation but, hey, it worked.”

carrie turned and faced flynn, closer to her than she had been in a long time. she was still the same girl carrie had grown up with, but her face had matured, gotten more beautiful, and her eyes had somehow gotten darker, more hypnotizing. “break the ice?” carrie asked. 

“yeah, well, i know it’s weird that my best friend is, like, your biggest competition or whatever,” flynn said, shaking her head a little. “and we haven’t talked in years but, i miss you, carrie.”

carrie wasn’t sure if she heard correctly. did gin and tonics have an effect on eardrums? “you, um,” she trailed off, hated the way she couldn’t seem to channel her normal confidence. “you miss me? why?”

flynn laughed. the sound took carrie back to camp, when they had snuck into a boys-only cabin and stole a bunch of their underwear to raise up the flag pole. flynn hadn’t been able to stay quiet and her uncontrollable laughing had almost gotten them caught.

“why not? yeah, you dropped me pretty quick back when we started high school. and i would never have admitted it then but i still cared about you,” flynn said. she tucked her braids behind her ear and carrie noticed her earrings, rainbow lollipops. 

“i’m sorry, flynn,” she said. “i was… i didn’t know how to deal with high school shit.” that was putting it mildly. “between homework, rehearsal, my dad taking me to meet with industry people all of the time, i just...” she looked at the ground, fixed her gaze on a wad of gum stuck to the sidewalk. “that’s not an excuse.”

“yeah, definitely not,” flynn said. “but i get it. i saw you all over instagram, you know? you’ve always looked good in pink.”

carrie looked back up, couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth. “i saw you, too. i always knew you’d go viral,” she said, referring to one of flynn’s freestyles that ended up being a tiktok trend a year ago.

“so, you missed me, too,” flynn said. “who wouldn’t?” she nudged her shoulder into carrie’s and the world tilted a little bit. carrie didn’t know if that was still from the alcohol or from flynn’s touch. 

“do you think we should get back inside?” carrie asked, not wanting to end the conversation but knowing it could get really awkward, really quickly.

“if you want to,” flynn said. “or… ”she held out a hand towards carrie, who could only stare at it, not knowing what the gesture meant. “come on, care, i don’t bite.” flynn rolled her eyes. “let’s get out of here.”

carrie bit her lip, felt a dull sting under the blanket of gin coating her nerves. “yeah, okay,” she said, taking flynn’s hand in her own. “let’s go.”

*

**carrie**

hey um flynn and i are gonna go hang and talk

tell everyone i had a good time, okay?

**reggie**

go hang?!?! wtf CARRIE are you gonna KISS HER

carrie……………?????

CARRIE ANSWER ME THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE OF ME 

*

as carrie and flynn walked hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, away from the crowds and music and activity, carrie kept glancing to her right. she couldn’t believe that Flynn was actually there, holding her hand, leading the way to _carrie’s apartment_ , of all places.

“how do you know where i live anyway?” carrie asked.

flynn laughed, swung their arms in the space between them. “you have reggie to thank for that.”

carrie’s eyes shot open. “he told you?” she knew she never should have gave in to his prying questions about their history and her crush.

“don’t be mad at him,” flynn said. “i wanted to know.”

carrie turned and looked at flynn, mouth open in surprise. “you did?”

“we’ve all got our secrets, carrie,” flynn said, winking and flipping her hair over a shoulder with her free hand.

carrie couldn’t find any words. she had always known that there was something between the two of them that was more than just friendship. the last summer that they had spent together, when they were on the cusp of high school and carrie didn’t yet know that flynn would soon become one of her lowest priorities, they had snuck down to the lake at camp after lights-out. carrie had been so nervous, not yet confident like she was now (or, at least, not as good at pretending to be). flynn had taken both of carrie’s hands in her own and asked, “you know i like you, right?”

carrie had nodded, too scared of ruining the moment to say anything.

“do you like me, too?” flynn had asked.

carrie did, more than she knew how to handle. she exhaled, her _yes_ barely audible above the crickets. 

when flynn had leaned forward and kissed her, carrie had wanted to stay in that moment forever, two girls suspended in time.

and then she’d fucked it all up.

carrie’s apartment was dark and empty once they got there. carrie had felt flynn’s eyes on her the whole time as she unlocked the door and pushed it open, dropped her keys in the catch-all bowl that only she used.

“so, this is it,” she said. “we can watch a movie or something?”

flynn walked around the living room, looking at all of the props and wigs and costume remnants that were scattered throughout like decor. 

“i like what you’ve done with the place,” she said, running her finger along a sequined jacket hanging from a chair. “can i hit up the bathroom first?”

carrie pointed down the hall, “first door on the right.” 

*

**carrie**

you told her where i live reg?

what if she was a mURDERER

**reggie**

is that supposed to be a thank you or…?

*

if someone had asked carrie five hours ago what she thought she’d be doing with her night, curled up next to flynn on the couch would not have been her answer. the movie they had landed on (some pretentious thing that neither of them really understood) was almost over, and carrie’s arm was numb from flynn leaning against it. carrie didn’t move, though. 

“hey, care?” flynn asked, her voice raspy.

“yeah?”

“are you gonna forget me again when you make it big?” the vibrations of flynn’s voice against carrie’s skin were like little earthquakes; each one shook carrie to her core.

“i didn’t forget you,” she said.

flynn sat up, her cheeks flushed. “okay, whatever,” she said, rolling her eyes. “are you gonna drop me like it’s nothing?”

carrie shook her head. “that was the biggest mistake of my life, flynn,” she said. 

“yeah, i can believe that.” flynn tucked her feet underneath her, scooched as close as she could to carrie. “do you remember that night at camp?”

carrie didn’t have to ask which one. “yeah,” she said. “of course i do.”

flynn was a much better kisser than she’d been all of those years ago. her fingers were feathers against carrie’s cheek, tracing the line of her jaw. their teeth clicked together and flynn laughed, carrie relishing the sound, so melodious and sincere. 

“do you wanna stay over?” carrie whispered, voice ragged and yearning.

“absolutely,” flynn said. she stood, stretched, then turned back around. “i hope you’re not just trying to get a new social media manager. i’m a one-band kind of girl.”

it was carrie’s turn to laugh. 

*

**reggie**

are you coming to class?????

youre late and flynn is also not here so do you need to tell me something??

**julie molina**

you better not hurt her again, she’s got me to back her up now

oh and your new song is really good i guess

*

carrie turned her phone over on the nightstand. flynn had fallen asleep almost immediately once they’d brushed their teeth and gotten in bed, but carrie was awake most of the night. she couldn’t turn her brain off, no matter how hard she tried. the thoughts were happy, mostly, but they raced faster than she could keep up with. in less than twenty-four hours, she’d gone from hopelessly crushing on flynn to lying next to her. she figured she must have done something right in another life to get this kind of reward.

“morning,” flynn said, rolling over and stretching her arms above her head. “how’d you sleep?”

carrie smiled. “i didn’t,” she admitted. she grabbed flynn’s hand and laced their fingers together. “but i don't mind.”

**carrie**

thanks, reggie. love you

\--


End file.
